I am running a 10K on October 24 in Prospect Park! I am super pumped and will post my training schedule up tomorrow.Want to join me?
http://inside.nike.com/blogs/nikerunning_humanrace-en_US?tags=race_day
Hooray!
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Nike Human Race
I am running a 10K on October 24 in Prospect Park! I am super pumped and will post my training schedule up tomorrow.
My assistant...
I start at my new school officially on Sept. 8-but I am going back Tuesday to begin decorating my classroom...I splurged and bought 10 book cover posters that I am laminating!
It's going to be rad! I have to clean, organize, and arrange my room.
There is nothing more fun than putting together your classroom. Some might not agree. They are stupid! You're cleaning things that are really dirty (what is more satisfying than that?), making cheesy signs about how to do stuff, schlepping desks into different shapes and seeing how you "feel" about them, making bulletin boards, setting up supply stations, organizing your teacher desk, alphabetizing your library. Really. It is Camille Heaven.
I am dying to get in there and get started. Technically I could go back tomorrow, but I am worried about freaking my new AP out by showing up on the first day like a rabid kindergardener.
It can be a little off putting.
So, tomorrow, I am planning a short story/poetry unit centered around the debate of fate v. free will, writing course syllabi, creating a class contract, and working on my class website!
- sent from my sweet baby iPhone
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
A break up...
My therapist is breaking up with me.
I mean, I guess it's not really a break up. It's a parting of ways.
My new job is in Brooklyn, not near his office.
He thinks I am in a good place.
He keeps pointing out all the skills I have developed over the last 2.5 years.
He says I can call if I need to have an emergency session...
I never thought I would be someone who ever went to therapy. Although I sometimes struggled with feeling bad and self image issues, I just told myself to "buck up" and reminded myself that other people had it much worse. Deep down, I felt like, if I couldn't handle it by myself, something was wrong with me.
I have always had trouble asking for help.
When I was three, my mom, my brother and I would walk to the P&C for groceries and then walk home. I was insistent that I carry the gallon of milk. Mind you, I weighed 25 pounds. A gallon of milk was a monstrous task for 3 year old me. I refused help. Every 4 steps, I had to stop and take a break. But, I would carry that mother-fing milk home.
My Mom loves to tell this story. It shows my independent, self-reliant side. It also reveals that I was trying to prove I was valuable. Maybe I was trying to convince myself that I could take care of myself if I needed to.
In second grade, I would forget my lunch money all the time. I would NEVER ask the teacher for money. NEVER. Even when she noticed I had no lunch and offered, I refused to take it. I felt ashamed to even consider it. I forgot my money, I would deal with the consequences.
I always felt that I should be able to handle my shit on my own.
Until I was the driver in a car accident that could have killed my niece and my sister in law. We flipped four times on the highway. The baby was in a car seat and my Sister in law was unbuckled. Every moment of the accident was in slow motion and my brain was racing 100 miles an hour-I had killed us, I had ruined my brother's life, I should never have been driving; i could hear the glass breaking, smell the dirt rolling into the car, felt the hot coffee flipping into my face in zero gravity. I watched Tina bounce up and down and could not help her.
We were fine. The baby was untouched. TIna hurt her neck. My hand was cut open. People on the highway pulled over and helped us out of the upside down car. We were fine.
But I had nightmares. And flashbacks. And crying jags. Being in a car was torturous. I was terrified the baby had some internal injury we didn't know about.
At the same time, my brothers family was coming apart at the seams-and I felt that was my fault too.
I was a failure. a failure because I wrecked the car. a failure because I couldn't help my brother. a failure because I couldn't get past my own fears of being in a car. a failure for letting the nightmares affect me.
I went to therapy.
I went to a sleep clinic.
I learned how to detach emotionally from things I could not control. I learned to give myself credit for all that I've accomplished. I learned how to put my energy into things I valued that would give me energy back.
In learning how to deal with the aftermath of the accident, I also learned that I was an amazing talented teacher and began to value my talents more. Because I knew how valuable I was, I sold myself better. Cool job opportunities came my way. I gained more confidence.
In learning to deal with the aftermath of the accident, my relationships with my family improved. I learned that my value was not tied up in their success or failure. I learned that I could help them without compromising my own life.
Every week, I go in to therapy and I de-brief. What I did right, what I had questions about, what I could have done better.
I know when to ask for help. I know that it's okay.
I know that people love me-and are willing to help me.
I know how to respond to people who are hurting me.
I know how to ask for what I want.
So, as of Sept. 3. I am no longer a patient. I am just Camille. On my own. Independent.
But I am still a little scared.
And I can admit that because I was in therapy.
I mean, I guess it's not really a break up. It's a parting of ways.
My new job is in Brooklyn, not near his office.
He thinks I am in a good place.
He keeps pointing out all the skills I have developed over the last 2.5 years.
He says I can call if I need to have an emergency session...
I never thought I would be someone who ever went to therapy. Although I sometimes struggled with feeling bad and self image issues, I just told myself to "buck up" and reminded myself that other people had it much worse. Deep down, I felt like, if I couldn't handle it by myself, something was wrong with me.
I have always had trouble asking for help.
When I was three, my mom, my brother and I would walk to the P&C for groceries and then walk home. I was insistent that I carry the gallon of milk. Mind you, I weighed 25 pounds. A gallon of milk was a monstrous task for 3 year old me. I refused help. Every 4 steps, I had to stop and take a break. But, I would carry that mother-fing milk home.
My Mom loves to tell this story. It shows my independent, self-reliant side. It also reveals that I was trying to prove I was valuable. Maybe I was trying to convince myself that I could take care of myself if I needed to.
In second grade, I would forget my lunch money all the time. I would NEVER ask the teacher for money. NEVER. Even when she noticed I had no lunch and offered, I refused to take it. I felt ashamed to even consider it. I forgot my money, I would deal with the consequences.
I always felt that I should be able to handle my shit on my own.
Until I was the driver in a car accident that could have killed my niece and my sister in law. We flipped four times on the highway. The baby was in a car seat and my Sister in law was unbuckled. Every moment of the accident was in slow motion and my brain was racing 100 miles an hour-I had killed us, I had ruined my brother's life, I should never have been driving; i could hear the glass breaking, smell the dirt rolling into the car, felt the hot coffee flipping into my face in zero gravity. I watched Tina bounce up and down and could not help her.
We were fine. The baby was untouched. TIna hurt her neck. My hand was cut open. People on the highway pulled over and helped us out of the upside down car. We were fine.
But I had nightmares. And flashbacks. And crying jags. Being in a car was torturous. I was terrified the baby had some internal injury we didn't know about.
At the same time, my brothers family was coming apart at the seams-and I felt that was my fault too.
I was a failure. a failure because I wrecked the car. a failure because I couldn't help my brother. a failure because I couldn't get past my own fears of being in a car. a failure for letting the nightmares affect me.
I went to therapy.
I went to a sleep clinic.
I learned how to detach emotionally from things I could not control. I learned to give myself credit for all that I've accomplished. I learned how to put my energy into things I valued that would give me energy back.
In learning how to deal with the aftermath of the accident, I also learned that I was an amazing talented teacher and began to value my talents more. Because I knew how valuable I was, I sold myself better. Cool job opportunities came my way. I gained more confidence.
In learning to deal with the aftermath of the accident, my relationships with my family improved. I learned that my value was not tied up in their success or failure. I learned that I could help them without compromising my own life.
Every week, I go in to therapy and I de-brief. What I did right, what I had questions about, what I could have done better.
I know when to ask for help. I know that it's okay.
I know that people love me-and are willing to help me.
I know how to respond to people who are hurting me.
I know how to ask for what I want.
So, as of Sept. 3. I am no longer a patient. I am just Camille. On my own. Independent.
But I am still a little scared.
And I can admit that because I was in therapy.
Monday, August 3, 2009
Summer Update
Hey kids,
I have been MIA of late-summer vacation has got in the way of my blogging!
Let's recap:
Fourth of July was a blast. J's parents visited NYC and we had dinner and drinks at a rooftop restaurant and watched the Fireworks from New Jersey, Manhattan AND Prospect Park.
I followed the Fourth up with a weeklong trip to the OuterBanks with sharonwue, auntbananas, and the rest of the family. I read Vampire Porn all week long, got a great tan, kayaked on the Sound, witnessed the most amazing lightning storm of my life, and played in the pool with the kiddies. Also, a gave my sixteen year old cousin advice about the la-dies. and saw Harry Potter. A Phenomenal trip...
I got back from the Banks and headed immediately out to the Mountains of Colorado for the wedding of J's friend, J. No, not the same J. Another J. Must be secretive on blog.
On the career front, I have some exciting stuff going on. The Mayor's Office hired me to help create and co-star in a series of Podcasts for new teachers! We filmed 3 video podcasts and 3 audio podcasts that will roll out in mid-August. The best part? It looks like it will continue through the school year! So, for Parent Teacher Night, we'll have a podcast giving teacher specific, realistic advice. Think Car Talk, but for Teachers. The Podcast will also feature a website and an 800 number so that teachers can give feedback and call in with questions!
I am going to be a celebrity.
Suckers.
Finally, I am re-earning my Brooklyn Jogger status. J and I knocked out a 3.5 miler today and last Saturday! Running is fun again!
That's all the news that's fit to print I promise to update more frequently!
Love,
Brooklyn Blogette
I have been MIA of late-summer vacation has got in the way of my blogging!
Let's recap:
Fourth of July was a blast. J's parents visited NYC and we had dinner and drinks at a rooftop restaurant and watched the Fireworks from New Jersey, Manhattan AND Prospect Park.
I followed the Fourth up with a weeklong trip to the OuterBanks with sharonwue, auntbananas, and the rest of the family. I read Vampire Porn all week long, got a great tan, kayaked on the Sound, witnessed the most amazing lightning storm of my life, and played in the pool with the kiddies. Also, a gave my sixteen year old cousin advice about the la-dies. and saw Harry Potter. A Phenomenal trip...
I got back from the Banks and headed immediately out to the Mountains of Colorado for the wedding of J's friend, J. No, not the same J. Another J. Must be secretive on blog.
On the career front, I have some exciting stuff going on. The Mayor's Office hired me to help create and co-star in a series of Podcasts for new teachers! We filmed 3 video podcasts and 3 audio podcasts that will roll out in mid-August. The best part? It looks like it will continue through the school year! So, for Parent Teacher Night, we'll have a podcast giving teacher specific, realistic advice. Think Car Talk, but for Teachers. The Podcast will also feature a website and an 800 number so that teachers can give feedback and call in with questions!
I am going to be a celebrity.
Suckers.
Finally, I am re-earning my Brooklyn Jogger status. J and I knocked out a 3.5 miler today and last Saturday! Running is fun again!
That's all the news that's fit to print I promise to update more frequently!
Love,
Brooklyn Blogette
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